PH
Nairobi – You know as much as you tell people not to date the wrong person, they are still going to; thinking they are just passing time or they are the ones that are going to change them. Then they eventually marry that person and complain about that person. No one forces you to marry anyone (we are excluding forced marriages here because someone was just about to mentally correct me-you all know what I mean).
Are they good for you and to you?
If what you are dealing with at the moment is not nice, then I can assure you are still going to suffer the same if not worse. We always look at worst case scenario when we are thinking of committing to someone, that way when it gets better, you give yourself a pat on the back. But if you are not enjoying whatever the two have now then marriage is going to put further strain on it and if they are not the ones you want to experience marital hardships with, then leave them be; unless you are into experiencing difficulties in life.
Are they emotionally healthy and stable or the opposite
Like I have already mentioned marriage just has a way of questioning whether you were sane while picking to settle with someone. You need someone who is strong emotionally and is able to face difficulties with you. If you have a spouse that throws tantrums, cries at the most little and stupid things and is someone who needs you to be there for them 24/7 then you are setting yourself up. That is what you will be dealing with constantly and it will be like you are babysitting. You will be the only adult in the relationship to handle the kids, and any other difficulties.
Are you hoping to change them?
I hope you are not. Also refer to the aforementioned scenarios. Don’t marry someone hoping to change them or that marriage will change them. Someone you are with needs to be at their best or trying to for you. If they are not, then they care less about you and what your opinion of them is. That is not a good sign from a spouse.
Do you always have to check on them or follow them around for them to do their part?
Definitely not a good sign because what you will be gaining is a child and not a partner. You do not want to go into marriage already seeing yourself nagging someone even for the family needs. Do you doubt their loyalty to you and have to be FBI every time they leave? Also not a good sign for you; you need to be secure in a relationship and if a partner does not give you that, then you are in trouble. Where will you find the time once the kids come along?
