PH
Normally when I watch that show on Citizen at 7:30 on Saturday’s, a couple of things click in my mind. 1. Either they are a bunch of liars or 2. They actually do believe what they are saying, thusly, they really have no idea what is actually going on in people’s homes. Which further commends that, then they are not in a place to give advice which eventually leads to low ratings because you people have no idea of what you are talking about. My mother just punctuates their conversations with, ‘Do these people know what they are talking about?’
The one truth that I will give anyone that is going into marriage is that, no one will give you advice that will perfectly work for you and your marriage; simply because, they are not the ones in that relationship with you. They will see things the way they choose to see them after you have explained it. They will choose to interpret things the way they want to and not from the way you would like them to. To simply put it, you are the only one that knows why you went into that association with the person you chose to do it with and you are the one that knows them best. You are the one that lives and deals with them on a daily basis.
So, when the expert is telling you to carry water to the bathroom for your husband, she does not know whether you have no maid to prepare you kids to go to school or your husband leaves for work at four and comes back at 10 in the nigh. She has no idea what is going on in your home; don’t follow advice blindly that will put you in hotter waters than what you were experiencing before.
You are the only one who understands your partner and what they expected or wanted to make your marriage work. Some suggestions you may be given and they will be biased to what the advisor wants but do it with your partner and you become a turn off. Someone might want a meek wife but your husband might like a partner who speaks her mind and that is why he married that. So when you listen to the former’s advice you find that your partner no longer wants to deal or talk to you because you now simper and cower at things; because you do not want to ruin your marriage and that is what you were told to do.
Changing things in a relationship without a conversation or without having any problems might end up creating problem for you. Maybe someone liked the way things were and because you worried and started listen to the wrong people, you panic and start doing things. Now your partner starts thinking or commiserating, ‘I do not know why he/she has changed?’ Just because you were trying to make things perfect but they were working fine for you.
Marriage only works when the two of you are honest enough with each other and open enough with each other. That way, you communicate enough with each other to say when things are working or not working.
