PH
My friend is newly married. I would like to give her advice on what not to do in order for her marriage to last but we are not that personal. Don’t be sad that is also a good thing.
Half the time I am with someone, I don’t like them being in my business. It works because when I am dumped, no one even knew I was in a relationship to begin with so as I imbibe too much on the wine, they assume it is because I am a drunk.
What I would like my friend to know though, because I will still tag her in this article is;
Keep your friends out of your marriage
As much as it always looks like a good idea to gossip and let your comrades in, I is also a good idea to keep them out. Most marriages get ruined because people want t6o share information. No one will understand your relationship better than you do. No one will be a better adviser to your spouse better than you are. Simply because no one knows them better than you do. This is why people get frustrated with therapy. You paid a lot of money, thinking they would get it but you eventually realize that they do not. Learn how to talk to your partner they are the only people that will be able to fix your marriage with.
You have been in the honeymoon stage, it will eventually shatter
Why do you think that people insist on re-inventing and keeping it all alive? It is not because they are boring individuals-okay some are- but you get what I am saying. After the wedding and the honeymoon, the first couple of months, if you have never lived with your spouse; you will try not to kill them. You will also try to keep it together because you do not want to be one of those people. But I am here to tell you it is okay. It is not as rosy as everyone makes it out to be. You will get tired and that is fine and when you see that happening, it is okay to go to the market on your own or whatever makes you feel nice and disappear for a while.
Just do this. Not because you are selfish but because it will give you a clearer head for you to come back better. No one will tell you that, but they will all lie how they just manage. Smart people take time away and come back better to make it work.
There are times you will realize that your spouse is not that attractive and that is okay too
Why do some people have wedding jitters? It is not because you suddenly realize that marriage is not for you. That is why someone will tell you, I am not ready and still be married a month later. People are always running away from some things-not the best people to get married to by the way.
Temptation will come and the ugliest person in your office will make you think they are the best thing you have ever seen. You need to learn how to appreciate your spouse other than for their physical attraction and that is why they say beauty fades. Not because it actually does but because you need something else to be looking at other than the superficial. That is how you will be happy.
