PH
You might try to hide the following but when they eventually come out in the open for your partner to find out, it does more damage. You need to allow someone to make their own decisions as to whether they can handle whatever issues or problems you might have.
Illness or Sickness
I have a friend, she has sickle cell anemia. Not a lot of people, especially in Africa, know what that is. If you know someone who has it, you will understand its gravity and impact on the people in that person’s life in taking care of them, medical bills and constant upheaval. Worst part is, not a lot, I am not sure if even any insurance companies cover it. They just don’t.
It is one of those illnesses, when she gets into any relationship, the guy has to know. It has signs but like I said, not many people are educated on it. If you even sneeze the wrong way in her direction and she gets stressed, she just relapses and the medical bill is like 100k and you have not even spent a week there; just medication and bed.
Other illnesses are not like sickle cell where eye color is a tell, they are more hidden and some people take advantage of that and keep silent. You need to let someone know so that when they commit to you, they do so freely and with an open mind. If they find out later after let us say marriage, you will be in hot soup.
Your spending habits
Most couples do not know their partner’s spending habits because as long as we are dating, we are all a bunch of pretenders. The women pretend they are responsible, reliable and conscious and the men pretend how lavishing they are, sort of reliable and as long as she asks he will do. Then they get married and tables turn because the miser is a poor saver and impulse buyer and the other one has no idea of their role in the family and money issues. Be open. If you are poor with money, maybe your partner will help and make your expectations known.
Your relationships
Keeping some hidden gets you in trouble; not your ex, no one has time for that. But if they insist, you just browse and drop the topic. Don’t even talk about your sexual escapades. People lie it does not matter but it does, even if it was one and they want details. Close the topic and ask them if they are in a relationship with your past or with you now.
Those friendships where they do not build you but you end up doing shady things will ruin your marriage if you cannot let go of them. It eventually does creep onto your personal life.
