PH
Nairobi – I always tell people that marriage is just another form of sibling rivalry if you ever had any siblings you can easily note the similarities. That is why for me, it was very easy to take a couple of the following of what I have witnessed some couples in my life do.
I have to marry someone who has an amazing sense of humor. They will not easily get mad or get angry otherwise any other person and they will get mad if they ever find out about the following; which is basically true for most couples. You just never speak about the fib you did that one time ago or they will have a grudge now.
They tell you to do something, you mess it up and from then on, they will do it themselves for the rest of your lives together
What is it that you do not like doing? Laundry? Dishes? Watching the kids? Cooking? Keeping the house neat and clean? I assure you, you are not alone. A lot of partners look for ways to get out of certain duties. The trick I have seen with most especially the men, especially when it comes to watching kids or anything about the house is they mess it up so that the wife will not trust the duty with them again; or for most Kenyan homes, grocery shopping. It is not that he cannot readElianto cooking oil, he saw it, he just decided to get whatever brand he felt like so that next time you can go do the shopping yourself.
‘Darling, please do not put your pink shirt with my whites.’ Guess what he will do and if you angered her, guess what she will do’
Pretending like you did not do it but you did so you lie on the kids but if you have none, you ask your spouse when they did it
At our house, our slogan was, ‘It wasn’t me!’ To this day! I even think most times when my mother used to ask something, she did it as a routine even though she knew that she did it.
One time she was cooking meat and the whole sufuria fell from the jiko with everything- on the floor. I was just walking into the kitchen. I have never been happier to see anything in my whole entire life. That is why I remember it to this day. I was not worried that we now did not have supper or whatever but I was happy I was there to witness it and my that she saw me witnessing it. She kept talking about the devil but when it is the rest of us, the shouting that will happen-I was just happy on that particular day!
Waiting on your spouse to leave so that you can complain about them and say how they are the cause of everything
In marriage, the fault is never yours when you are explaining it to other people and your spouse is around. When they are around, you let them talk and talk. Then when they are conveniently away, you just say how you have accepted to live the way you do and taken them as they are. That is why you never speak or complain but let them talk-reverse psychology much?
You can say how you take care of everything else and you feel alone in the marriage. If they left the money while the guest watched, you just talk about how today they have done something they never do. You handle all the burdens on your own. Next time, they will be on your team and not neutral; your spouse will not even get it.
