PH
Nairobi – I have a very stupid friend. Wait, before you jump on my train.
There is this man that really likes her and treats her nicely. She is good to him and he is the same for her. He is better than the last one and that is a long story I cannot get into. She is turning 29 this year and after such a bad relationship past I would think that when it is turning good now, it is the universe’s way of saying it is time for you to settle down and so here is the man that you should be with. He will take care of you and the family. But as women, I have to say we can really be stupid and foolish at times.
I am having a conversation with her and she tells me but I do not like how he looks. I ask how? She shows me his picture. The man towers over her, so tall. He is not deformed but he is not the African Adonis either but he doesn’t look bad. So I ask the important question, ‘have you had sex with him?’ Because when you do that with someone; they are good-looking enough for you. She has, so I know that is not the problem, she barely has a problem with him but it eventually comes out that she is worried her friends will judge her and will not like him.
People, this man did not look bad when I saw him just that he was the ordinary John Doe and what is wrong with that? And the last man she was with looked worse so I am betting she just likes being taken on rough rides with bad guys. So I just went straight to the point and asked her, ‘You think I am worried about you and your opinion whenever I am dating anyone? No I am not, in fact you are the last thing on my mind!’
I don’t think I quite got through to her with that brutal honesty so I am about to see my friend car crash a good relationship because she is worried about other women’s opinions and because I think she wants to marry a white man. They have always been her dream by the way. But she is going to ruin a good relationship with a good man with that barely there probability.
Always take the right type of advice from the right corners. If you have friends that will sit down with you and pull each other’s men down then you are in the wrong friendships. You are not co-wifing with them. They will not go through anything with you so their opinion does not matter anyway.
Why ruin a good relationship with a man you will live with for people you are not living with? Why mess up a situation with someone that shows you he cares and wants to be in your life for people that will not care when he finally goes?
Do you know that there are women out here being taken for rides, her being a former one and should be more appreciative of this good situation? When a good man comes a long, he will not stick around long enough unless you take initiative. Another woman is probably tailing him wishing and waiting. Just one misstep from you and he is gone. Now she will be crying in her 30s on why she cannot get good men. Here is one and she is already messing it up
