PH
The other day my colleague sent an e-mail featuring a news clipping about a couple whose wedding was called off over the difference in opinion about the choice of the meal meant to be served at the reception.
Long story short, the wedding wasn’t really called off over the food, but because the bride’s family was concerned over the groom and his family’s inability to compromise over a small issue.
Of course the bride’s family are the ultimate paragons of making concessions. *Cough*
While it might seem silly to cancel a wedding over a meal, I can see how a family making such a fuss about such a trivial matter could lead to doubt about the future. So how do you know whether there are actual issues or whether it’s just a case of cold feet?
1. You no longer feel excited when it comes to planning your wedding.
While many couples often feel wedding fatigue during the planning stage, there is a difference between taking a short break from all things wedding related and stopping all talk of weddings altogether.
Perhaps if this is ringing an alarm bell for you, a brief postponement could be in order here? Remember, that cold feet may not always mean you doubt your relationship, only that you’re not sure whether you’re ready to get married at that specific time.
2. You’ve already postponed the wedding more than once.
Following on from my previous point, if you’ve spent too much time waffling between whether or not you want to get married and keep putting it off, chances are that you can’t really see yourself being married.
It’s one thing to postpone if you’re not financially ready, but if you’re postponing without a good reason it’s time to be honest with yourself and your partner.
3. You can’t come to an agreement on serious issues
Talks about money and discussions on whether you want children or not are just some of the big issues that need to be tackled before you even consider getting married.
What’s the point of getting married if you’re only going to end up resenting your partner if you want children and he doesn’t?
Not talking about and discovering how fundamentally you differ on big issues later on, is a recipe for disaster.
4. If you find yourself compromising at the expense of your own personal growth.
Relationships are a give and take partnership. It’s a two-way street that involves communication, compromise and honesty.
If you feel like you’re always the one in the relationship that has to give something up for the sake of your partner’s comfort and happiness, without him/her ever doing the same, you might want to backtrack a little before you think of getting married.
