PH
I was really going to start with married man and I really thought; that is not constructive advice because if I really have to tell you that then I also don’t know what I am doing.
Liar, liar pants on fire
If you keep catching a man you are dating in very small and petty lies, I will be the one to tell you that is a red flag. Someone who is taking time to lie about small things that do not even matter is someone who is going to mess you up. He is the type that will lie about his job, his work, his pay, and everything he is doing-obviously that is a man you cannot plan a future with. For example he will tell you because he knows that this is what you would like to hear, ‘I have put a down payment for this house and I am planning to move. We will be home owners.’ Ask yourself if you really own a house, so you busy yourself with other things until that moment you are evicted and you were secure that that was sorted.
The worst part is when you are not snoopy and you are going for this trust thing in your relationships you will be shocked- very badly.
A mummy’s boy-Someone who is too attached to his mother
There is nothing wrong with the closeness between a mother and her child-even men liking their mothers and treating them well is a good thing. The problem comes in when he is starting a life of his own and she is the center of it-even when you come in.
As I keep watching Bi. Msafara woman on that after show on Citizen I am starting to click that she might actually have sons and if she has a daughter; that might be a far-fetched idea on my part. They were talking about mothers-in-law and I imagined if my man introduced me to a mother who spoke like she does, I would run for the hills if she was his center stage. I can imagine dealing with Bi. Msafara for the rest of my life with a son of hers; if we even went for a family holiday for a month- I would die! I don’t take oppression very well. My mother told her mother-in-law to hire a help and she would pay for it because every time they went to visit his mother she had this idea that my mother was made for carrying firewood and water on the back and blowing on that three stone fire to make a meal. They had to pipe the water to the compound and they got the help which she paid for because she was not into that wahalla business.
See how she compromised there; she refused but she paid for other people to do it. So you don’t refuse and then fold your hands while his mother is at the river-you will get a bad vibe. You refuse and look for an alternative.
A man set in his ways
I am not saying that you go into relationships with the idea of changing someone but compromise will be very important in any relationship.
No two couples meet and they complement each other on everything. That sync they have is because they had to work on it. If your man is of the attitude, ‘Take me as I am.’ Be worried because he will continue bouncing from club to club while you figure the family issues by yourself and he will just say, ‘Take me as I am.’ Which you agreed to.
Be worried about a man that you have to push to make a decision.
That idea of a man being the head of the family is just about you being able to sit down with someone who will give you a way forward when you need it.
You will eventually get tired of sitting on a man’s head if that is what you like. I could start telling you about why women cheat with their bosses but that is another story. You get the point though. Don’t get too comfortable with a man who can never put his foot down where you are concerned. It will get to you.
