Last year was a pretty eventful one, ridden with the kind of drama that no one could see coming.
Who would have thought love-struck Vera would call out his ex-bae for having a ‘Kijulubeng’ or that Anerlisa, beer empress, would tell us every time she gained weight was to help a friend lose theirs.
Many of us fell for very obvious and lame online stunts when we should have known better. In 2019, we are walking with our eyes wide open because, either way, some things will be too hard to ignore.
Diamond Platinumz will move to Kenya
Let’s take this for example. The signs are clear as day. Wasafi artistes are already frequenting Kenya, perhaps looking for Kenyan baes?
Diamond and Rayvanny have had an especially tough year with their songs being banned for being nasty and Diamond, despite apologizing, did threaten to move to another country following the ban.
And why not? Fans want him and Tanasha Donna to get a baby, an area where ‘Simba’ prowess is almost as outstanding as his music.
They will live together happily in Kenya. Either that or he will dump her because of his fans’ disapproval of her dressing and mannerisms that they term as ‘not marriage material’.
A famous DJ’s dirty linen finally airs in public
The rumors have been rounds for some time, and this year, a raunchy video or racy screen shots between the famous gospel Deejay and a randy female groupie will surface.
The year is still in the single digits so let’s not say much, but be on the lookout.
Ethic will break up
Hard as it may be to admit, groups have a very rotten history. Except for SautiSol of course. Ethic, famous for giving us Lamba Lolo and Position, will bring a lot more club-bangers in 2019 and become a Kenyan sensation before they turn out to be monotonous and hit a musical plateau.
Then they will break up. Swat will probably continue singing because, just like Camp Mulla, MOG, Kelele Takatifu, Kymoh and Stiga (The ‘Thitima’ guys) and Tatuu, in a breakup, someone has to come out winning.
Yet another break-up
Do you know who else will definitely split? Elani. This African pop group of three members has been warming Kenyans hearts since 2013 but we can feel the strings of their bond snapping this 2019.
Proof? When all three of you are this smart, the chemistry can only last so long, its science.
Secondly, they already had a two-year hiatus before their comeback in 2018 and we all know where there is smoke, there is fire.
Lastly, Maureen got hitched December of 2018 while Bryan revealed the identity of his son, which could only mean their family lives are getting more serious. Lives change and people move on.
King Kaka writes a book
This is a no-brainer. Kennedy Ombima has done everything. He has been a hawker, he is a rapper, entrepreneur, been married and divorced, has kids, engaged again, and publicly at that.
He is a philanthropist, a columnist at The Standard and even a lecturer at Zetech University. You name it, he’s done it.
So what more is left except writing a book, because you’re not really a celebrity until you write a book.
Willy Paul will star in his own reality show
Yet another thing that celebrities have to do to cement their place in the industry. Bahati has done it so why not? Remember when a video surfaced of the gospel singer assaulting a woman?
He claimed he was shooting a reality show. We have not forgotten Pozze, and we are waiting anxiously.
He will most probably do another international collabo that will really suck and keep Sikireti and Alkaida in good company. His conversion into a secular artiste, then we can drop the air quotes when we call him a “gospel artiste”.
Anerlisa and Benpol will breakup
I am not saying that everyone in the entertainment industry will break up but some people are just openly unlucky in love. Like Anerlisa.
She is the perfect example of why you cannot have everything. The Keroche heiress’ relationships have crumbled right before our eyes, several times, but that has not stopped her from making her love for Bongo superstar boyfriend, Benpol public.
She even hinted at marrying the Tanzanian singer. But unless you are Size8, if it’s public it isn’t going to work and as such we are prepared for an ugly breakup of Vera Sidika magnitude, only classier.
Vera Sidika will pack her bags
Speaking of Dear Miss Sidika, she very recently wore the entrepreneur hat. If not for her nasty breakup with Baby Love hitmaker Otile, we would never have known her struggles at Vera Sidika Beauty Parlor.
But now we know. In fact, we know more than we should. They broke up twice in their eight-month situation-ship but other than that she had a successful year if her social media life is anything to go by.
However, we cannot speed past the screenshots her ex Otile fired back during their rather childish and public showdown where he asks her to change her bad spending habits like shopping extravagantly in Dubai while her workers and rent has not been paid.
She is still ‘doing it for the ‘gram so we know for sure this business has a short shelf life and the clock is ticking.
Nani Simba wa Huddah?
We proclaim 2019 as the year of the child – Huddah Monroe, she of the beauty realm, queen of the hot spots and self-declared Boss Lady, will get pregnant. She will earn good money doing maternity shoots, and glow with pregnancy, despite playing us by not revealing the man responsible. Of course, the baby will be team Light Skin!
Nyashinski relocates back to the US
After taking a surprisingly and yet reasonably long hiatus, Nyashinski came back two years ago and took Kenya’s hip-hop and gospel scene by storm; churning out hit after hit, securing lucrative event deals and corporate sponsorships.
However, the Mungu Pekee hit-maker may yet again decide to take another sabbatical and move back to the US due to personal or family reasons. Besides, he mentions this (taking a rest) in his many lyrics and this might be the time.
Shaffie shifts to NRG
New urban radio station NRG made headlines with their international artiste-studded events and controversial talk shows.
With that in mind, the station will poach other radio personalities to boost their ratings and key among them will be the self-proclaimed Raverend Shaffie Weru.
Size 8 gets baby number 2
It is written in the stars. When their first born child turns two, couples itch to try for baby number two. Janet Mbugua did it and so did actress Liz Njagah.
Not forgetting the Alpha Beta duo who broke the internet with their tasteful Wakanda-inspired maternity shoot, a year after having their first born son, Tau.
And now with Size 8’s daughter turning three, Size 8 seemed to flaunt her baby bump, neither confirming nor denying if indeed she was pregnant.
She later admitted that she had been pregnant but unfortunately miscarried. Despite all the tears and sadness, my bet is there will soon be another bun in the oven this 2019.
While we’re on the topic of babies, Vera Sidika, who seems to also have contracted a serious baby fever, will continue exhibiting the symptoms but won’t get knocked up, preferring to get married first.
Another ‘Rafiki’ will drop
After the hullabaloo about a movie that almost made it to the Oscars, a few scriptwriters will take their change with topics that are deemed un-African.
A movie or three about touchy topics will drop and brother Ezekiel Mutua and a few other people will go mad about the movies before the courts sort them out again.
Bahati’s Heaven makes him rich
Celebrity kids getting endorsements has become a thing so Bahati’s kid will snatch one as well. Ladasha Bella, DJ Mo and Size 8’s daughter, with more than 160,000 fans endorses baby diapers, raking millions.
So is DJ Crème de la Crème’s three-year-old son Jamari who is the brand ambassador of a children clothing line owned by Alladin Brand of Companies.
Other celebrities like Diamond, Jamal Gaddafi of KTN, Terryanne Chebet and Janet Mbugua have landed serious deals from parenthood.
So do not be confused by why celebrities put up Instagram accounts for their newborns, the endorsement is the new cash cow and every fresh parent in 2019 will most definitely milk it.
Some other things that will happen…
Notable mentions are Ezekiel Mutua will do the most as usual, and ban a lot of 2019 songs that will not even be that nasty, Ethic should be the lookout.
Dennis Itumbi, the love doctor, will not go on ‘baecation’ with Jacque Maribe on Valentines. Instead, he will announce his interest in vying for a seat, preferably as a Member of Parliament and you suckers will be shocked because you did not know all along he was riding on the publicity that the murder case attracted.
Naiboi and Khaligraph Jones will run the 2019 scene. Meanwhile, old-school stars like DJ Pinye will continue to be bitter about being run off the game and refuse to support new artistes. It’s just how envy works.
The year will also see absurd Valentine’s packages as every hotel tries to outdo the other. I am almost convinced there will be elephant riding and the sort.
Liverpool will snatch their first EPL title in so many years ending their title drought. I wouldn’t hold my breath though.
With movies, it is always wise to manage your expectations to avoid disappointment. That said, the eight seasons of Game of Throne’s will be released and there will be the most epic battle ever on television.
In the interim, Avengers Endgame will be the biggest movie of 2019, breaking Box office records. I’m talking about $250 million on the opening weekend and about $2.5 billion worldwide.
Star Wars: Episode IX is released and we are dying to know what will happen to the characters we love or hate with J J Abrams coming back to direct it. I am almost tempted to say it will do better than Avengers. Almost.