She was Spotted at Enashipai Resort and Spa in Naivasha with her lover on the same weekend her ex-husband Dennis Okari was getting married, all eyes are again on TV girl Betty Kyallo; in this candid interview, she reveals the challenges she has been through and why her next man must be different.
Did you call to wish Dennis and his new-found love a happy marriage during their wedding?
Betty: It was their wedding and their private day, not mine. They are happy and I don’t know if it would make a lot of difference if I tried to involve myself.
You seemed to have had a lovely time at Enashipai Resort that same weekend with, was that your new boyfriend?
B: I moved on and it’s not like I was sitting here waiting for Dennis to come back. That door was closed. I have a life and what was happening at Enashipai is part of it. I honestly had a good time there.
We saw all those ‘Heart melt’, ‘Ukipendwa pendeka’ captions on your videos and photos as you looked all smitten. Who is this new man?
B: Let’s just say I had a fine day. On all the rest, you will be the first to know. I promise.
Your critics have sometimes judged you harshly, especially on love and relationship issues. Where does this leave you as a person?
B: The thing about life is that you can get to worry about what other people think about you so much that you forget who you really are. I have learned to follow my lane and get everyone aligned to that. Honestly, I don’t wake up thinking of who has said what about me anyone. I don’t take the negatives about things.
Let’s admit, it is not always that you are right…
B: That is true. Sometimes I have made mistakes and I have been remorseful about them. If I wrong you, I will admit it. I have made so many apologies, which were hard to say but I did it. I am remorseful. But sometimes you can’t live this life carrying burdens. People will look at you and you are looking just like trouble. It’s good to have the courage to do things different. If it’s time to move on, you move on.
That includes mistakes in your relationships?
B: I can be sorry about everything and so that too. The thing is, I can’t sit here thinking about it all and looking like a problem. No! I tell guys…try…get married, if you have to divorce, then divorce. Don’t be scared of doing something simply because you are scared of what people will say or think.
You hardly talk about the break-up but since it happened, why can’t we revisit this just a bit?
B: The break-up was one of the most devastating things in my life ever. It was hard. Tough. Really rough.
What made it tough?
B: I thought of myself, ‘it is only days since millions of people witnessed our union and now this is happening’. Besides the pain inside me, and the thought of our baby, I could see the world looking at me for answers to questions, answers I probably didn’t have. It was so much pressure and now I can tell you would I have known this would happen, I would have kept my private issues, the wedding included, to myself.
What is the truth about the break-up and what was in the divorce?
B: It’s a hard story of many untold truths, facts that Betty can only let out in bits.
Who takes the blame?
B: You see when you as a couple have issues, you need to communicate. I think communication was quite an issue. It still is. That, I will not explain now. Neither do I want to start laying blame.
You talked of having lost friends after the separation. Did you feel alone?
B: At the point, Ivanna (her daughter) became the most fundamental part of my life. Everything had crumbled into pieces and friends whom I thought were everlasting cronies left me. I even had to change the places we used to hang out. Besides family and God, there was literally nothing else to hold on to.
But as it has been the case, why would Okari be on social media questioning why you have been exposing the baby all over? Communication issues again?
B: Do I really want to talk about that…? No! No! See, I don’t want to discuss that as it is still a very sensitive family issue. It’s been some time now, the way people out there paint pictures might not be the truth. People might think we talk, when we probably don’t talk. He might be there for us or not be there for us. That is all I can say.
What has been the most trying thing since then?
B: I am a single parent and as you know, parenting comes with a lot of responsibilities. You have to be dad and mum at the same time. I miss being with someone and I can’t wait to settle down again. In fact, my mum keeps on asking when I will wear my next wedding gown. She wants me to bring a man home.
Are you suggesting there is some good news? Wedding bells?
B: Well, well, well…My idea for a wedding and marriage has since changed. Somebody will say that something is wrong with me but I would rather speak my mind out. Then, my idea for marriage was about the wedding event. Marriage got blurred in the whole wedding thing.
That means you wouldn’t think of a wedding going into your next love affair?
B: The next time this happens, I want to do it differently. I don’t want to be the lab test for others but I think it is good for lovers to put all their cards on the table from the very start. See, friendship and partnership is different from love and marriage. When all the love cream and all that romance veil fades, friendship must remain. That is what many couples don’t discover.
So, since we are seeing all those love messages on social media, is there a man knocking, again?
B: I already said if that happens you will be the first to know. But well, I haven’t put for myself any timelines. If he shows up today, and we are good to go, well and good. If he shows up tomorrow, and we fell right about it, then why not. I am ready to settle down and get loved. Thing is, I meet many handsome men who is a sort of know what this could be but get intimidated with what they think or have heard of me. Let that confident man come my way.
There was Mr Governor in the picture, I mean, another relationship. That just died like that?
B: Should I talk about another relationship break-up…No!
What has all these experiences taught you?
B: I will talk of my experiences as an anchor who joined the industry when I was only 22. At 23, I was already going on air when I was still trying to find my place in the media. Experiences are good as they are lessons we use to get ourselves from one point to the other. Sometimes people will say things that hurt you. Sometimes you go on air felling sad about a post someone has made. Besides, people see you and think of good and bad. Others simply hate you because you have a good job and they don’t.
What is your word to women who could be going through hard relationships?
B: At any given moment, put yourself first and make decisions that are good for you and the surrounding people. I think personally about things that are fundamentally good for me. People stay in bad marriages where women are battered daily and are afraid of moving on because of how the society will judge them. Now, that is stupid. If it’s not working, move on. God knows!