When a regular Naija lady is going in the direction of her late 20s to her mid or late 30s, her life and also ideas start to diminish right into one significant problem – marriage! When is ‘he’ coming? When do I have a baby? Etc
When a typical Naija girl is heading towards her late 20s to her mid or late 30s, her life and thoughts begin to shrink into one major issue – marriage! When is ‘he’ coming? When do I have a baby? What if ‘he’ never comes? Should I go ahead and get pregnant without being married? Etc. All these questions linger in her mind till she finally walks down the aisle … and that’s IF she does.
The pressure gets too much, its choking! The clock, including her biological clock, keeps on ticking and doubt, depression and loss of self-esteem slowly but surely starts taking over. Today, we’re looking into three common but diverse pressures single Nigerian women at 32 normally face and maybe how they could come up with solutions.
1.) Self Pressure
Whether you like it or not, you can’t avoid feeling left out, ignored or subbed by men. As a woman, we turn to ask ourselves questions we know the answers to. Will you ever get married? Do you want to even get married? Do you want a child? How much am I worth? Can I take care of myself? What if the guy never chows up? How much fasting and prayers am I to have to find a husband? How will my mother feel? How do I prevent my parents from asking me if ‘Stephen‘ is my future husband and so on and so forth. Its exhausting! Hold a minute! Last I checked, we are single, beautiful and self-made. Go get busy. Don’t wallow in self-pity or think God has left you. Stop blaming God for being single or envy your friends who are enjoying a blissful marriage. Stop it already! Get a life sweetheart. Be good to you. Get a hobby, love your job more, step out more, be athletic, attend events, conferences, games, cinema dates etc. Go out and find ‘him’ – since you think he’s not coming.
2.) Pressure from family
This is normally not supposed to bother any woman but after having repeated conversations with your mom, dad, older siblings, uncles, aunties, married cousins and so many more, being single becomes a burden all of a sudden. Is being single at 32 anybody’s business, you may ask yourself. May be not; but they would tell you they’re just being concerned and want the best for you. They forget that highlighting the problem repeatedly only makes you wonder if you are really a marriage material. The likely impacts are you being stressed, emotionally exhausted and full of self-doubt. But relax, it’s your life and you really don’t have to drag a man to the altar. Pray and let God take control. However, you could start by hanging out more with friends. Attend parties, weddings or sport games. Simply choose your spots wisely and remember open your heart to anything. You never know.
3.) Pressure from the society
This is the type of heat no woman should even consider getting. It’s nobody’s business that you’re still single at 32. Are there any laws which say a woman MUST be married before that age or would be respected more in her community or even have more money when she’s a MRS? The answer is a big fat NO! However, a Naija girl won’t stop to think about what her friends, church members or colleagues are saying (especially the married ones). Time is running fast and there’s no man attempting to take that fling to a whole new level. What do you do? Other people even go to the extent of saying, a MRS is more respected in the society than a MISS. These things get into your head and before you know it, you become desperate, super stressed out and going emotionally crazy. Where and how do you find a man to marry? Well, stop with the madness and relax. Focus on your job (if you have one) and instead of staying home in self-pity, go out more. Check out your friends on social media, see who is ‘available’ to hang out, ask a man out too!